Bitchy Little Sweater
While I was sitting on the sofa weaving in the ends of CDS, the Aran sweater was looking at me. Making sad eyes in my direction, it bemoaned the lack of attention it’s been getting lately.
“Look, I’m working. It’s just a small project and I’ll be done with it tomorrow. Just sit tight, okay?”
“But I’m so lonely! You never work on me anymore.”
“Look, I’m sorry, but . . .”
“*Sniff* Never mind. Work on your stupid little sweater. See if I care.”
This went on for an hour. Finally, I couldn’t take it anymore and I put down CDS and picked up the Aran.
I ripped out the stitches I’d put into the sleeve so far, then ran the needle back through the picked-up stitches. On Saturday morning, I’ll try picking up the sleeve in the round again, only this time, I’ll make sure I get the double moss stitch right.
The Aran is now curled up happily at my feet, wagging its tail and dreaming Irish dreams.
If anyone knows a good, board-certified psychologist in San Antonio who deals with fiber arts hallucinations, can you send me their number? Thanks.
July 16th, 2003 at 9:24 pm
I believe this is a common affliction amongst unmarried people..hehe. I talk to my cats like they’re kids..and I also discuss the misbehavior of my yarn and fiber with the yarn and fiber. So I know what it’s like. I think I need to get out more too..I’m starting to scare myself.
July 12th, 2003 at 1:13 am
Destiny is calling you, David!
Staceyjoy thinks you need to get out more, and I’ve offered to knit-sit at a very reasonable price!!!
–Sheryl
July 11th, 2003 at 8:40 pm
You do need to get outside a bit more, darling.
July 11th, 2003 at 7:21 pm
Kaetchen,
My family is much weirder. We don’t just personify the animals in our life. We actually animalfy the humans. My dad goes by the name of “Daddy Cat ” or “Daddy Raccoon” or “Daddy Deer,” etc.
Then there are the conversations, where we discuss our reactions to the behavior of our critters from their point of view. Example, “Daddy Cat. You don’t expect a Royal Tiger to eat this dry crap, do you?” –”Mommy Raccoon, These moths taste ok, but isn’t about time you put out the coon chow?”
Weirdness is relative, or maybe just relatives are weird. Ha ha ha.
July 11th, 2003 at 6:06 pm
You are not allowed to make fun of me for talking to the cat like she’s human EVER AGAIN.
July 11th, 2003 at 2:30 pm
That probably will limit who it can see. You know how those HMOs are!!! *Sigh*
I can also sweater-sit. Same rate, but less talk and more play.
If you get desperate though, just sit it in front of the Young and the Restless. It should go to sleep. I understand that knits are particularly partial to soaps.
July 11th, 2003 at 12:49 pm
Sheryl,
The Aran is unemployed too. I’ll have to see if I can claim it as a dependant on my insurance.
July 11th, 2003 at 8:58 am
I’ll talk to your Aran for $5 hour if you think it needs counseling. These neglect issues are pretty tough though.
I’m not actually a psychologist, but I am unemployed and can probably get your sweater through its crisis.
July 11th, 2003 at 8:18 am
Don’t know any psychologists in your area, but it’s nice to know I’m not alone with all my little half-knitted friends.