Eyes - present
Once a year, every good diabetic is supposed to go and get their eyes checked. I’m not such a good diabetic, so I’m about three years overdue. But this week I finally got around to it and went to see Dr. Taylor, my eye doctor. (Also the man who diagnosed me as having diabetes.)
The very good news is that in spite of my generally slacking off in my blood sugar monitoring and diet, my retinas look good. I don’t have any protein deposits on them and no blood vessel ruptures were apparent. I’m counting my blessings as I type. And, since the visit, I’ve been monitoring my blood sugars. They’ve actually been kind of low this week.
The first thing Dr. Taylor does is put some drops in my eyes to get them ready for a pressure test. He warns me before he puts them in that they’re going to sting a little. No problem, I’ve used stinging eye drops before. These ones were about the same. Then he presses a small cup-like thingy against each eyeball to check the pressure in the lens. All is good.
Next, he puts some drops in to dialate my eye. After about ten minutes of waiting in a darkened room, he comes back in and looks at my retinas. All is well. I’m relieved.
Finally, he produces a third eye dropper and tells me to lean my head back. “These help the dialation to pass more quickly.” Very considerate; I didn’t want to be wearing sunglasses all day. He drops them into my right eye. Then he says, completely deadpan, “These are going to sting kind of like jalapeno juice.” Before I can reach any of his vital pressure points, he puts them in my left eye and the burn comes.
Now, I appreciate that he didn’t fill me with apprehension before putting the last drops in, but where the hell did he learn that bedside manner? The Tomás de Torquemada school of patient psycology?
(I’m really just steamed that I’m probably never going to get to use that line on anyone. Life is so unfair.)
November 21st, 2004 at 6:53 am
“I’m really just steamed that I’m probably never going to get to use that line on anyone.”
Perhaps you give up too easily. Sometimes we have at be extra creative to realize our dreams.
November 21st, 2004 at 8:46 am
Which line–the “jalapeno” one that the doctor used, or the one referring to the “Spanish Inquisition School of Psychology”? In any case, I agree with Michelle–don’t give up hope that someday you’ll be able to use it.:-)
You’re very lucky that your eyes are healthy. I hope you keep them that way. I also hope that you’re feeling much better generally, too.
November 21st, 2004 at 9:52 am
Surely you could have administered a swift kick or slap from your position ? ;-]
Glad your eyes are good.
November 22nd, 2004 at 7:42 am
Torquemada - Do not ask him for Mercy
Torquemada - Do not ask him for Forgiveness
Let’s face it…you can’t torquemada anything!