Cry Handknit, and let SSK the Socks of war!!!

Copied from Yarn Monkey’s site just in case Ireland gets wiped out by another hurricate: The International Socks of DOOM pattern!

© Julie Gardner MMVI

The International Sock of Doom has been designed for sheer, simple efficiency. An easy weapon to craft and customise. The rib heavy design has been engineered for adaptability to all manner of lower appendages (e.g. legs and feet).

50g / 2 oz DK yarn any kind/any colour
(the original International Sock of Doom was knit with 100% pure new wool in a bloody red wine colour-way)
Set of 4 3.75mm/US5 double pointed needles (set of 4 or 5)
1 darning needle

10 cm2 /4 inches2 = 22 stitches and 30 rows

K Knit
P Purl
RS Right side
SSK Slip one stitch, knit the next stitch, pass the slipped stitch over the knit stitch
St(s) Stitch(es)
Tog Together

Rib of Doom Instructions
1 [K3, P3] work to end of round
2 [K1,P1] work to end of round


Loosely cast on 48 sts (alternate cable method is good for elasticity and neatness)
Work in K1, P1 rib for 2 cms/1 inch (7 rows)

Work in the Rib of Doom as described for 9cm/3.5 inches (28 rows) finishing with round 2

Heel Flap
Work over 24 sts (half total number) as described below for 6 cm/2.5 inches (18 rows) finishing with row 2
1 (RS) Sl1, K to end
2 Sl1, P to end

Turn Heel
1 (RS) Sl1, K14, ssk, k1
2 Sl1, P5, P2tog, P1
3. Sl1, K6, ssk, K1
4. Sl1, P7, P2tog, P1
5. Sl1, K8, ssk, K1
6. Sl1, P9, p2tog, P1
7. Sl1, K10, ssk, K1
8. Sl1, P11, p2tog, P1
9. Sl1, K11, ssk
10. Sl1, P10, P2tog = Total 14 Sts left on needle

Knit 14 sts just worked on heel
Pickup and knit 10 sts on the side of the heel flap
Knit 24 sts on the other needles in the rib of doom pattern
Pickup and knit 10 sts along the other side of the heel flap

You now have 58 sts on your needles. To make life easy for yourself shuffle them around so you have stitches arranged on your needles as below:

Needle A 17 sts (these continue in stockinette)
Needle B 24 sts (these continue in rib of doom)
Needle C 17 sts (these continue in stockinette)

1 Knit to last 3 sts on needle A, (K 2 tog, K1). Work 24 sts on B. Knit 1, ssk, k to end
2. Knit all on needle A, work needle B in pattern, knit all on needle C

Continue working these two previous rounds 4 more times, until 48 sts remain on the needles.

Continue straight in pattern as established for the length of your victim’s shoe size.
E.g. If your opponent’s shoe size is US 8 Women’s find it on the chart here and read down the columns to find the length (in this example 25.7cms /10 1/8 inches). You need to account for the toe decrease, so subtract 5cm/2 inches from this measurement (in our example 20.7cm/8 1/8 inches).

Toe Decrease
Toes are worked in plain stockinette all the way round. Arrange your stitches evenly on 2 needles, with top of foot’s 24 on one needle (needle A), and sole’s 24 on the other (needle B).

1. K1, ssk, k to final 3 on needle A, K2tog, k1. repeat on needle B (4 stitches decreased)
2. K all stitches

Repeat these last two rounds 7 more times until there are 20 stitches left on the needles. Cast off and sew together on the reverse side, or work your grafting magic if you are so inclined.

Repeat for sock 2, and mail, mail, mail!

9 Responses to “Cry Handknit, and let SSK the Socks of war!!!”

  1. Cynthia Says:

    Although I was not insane enough to sign up for this, I do like the pattern. I’m needing some simple and fast sock patterns for Christmas knitting so this may fit the bill (I’ll probably adapt it for sock yarn though).

    Good luck on the Sock Wars 😉

  2. janna Says:

    I agree with Cynthia — this is a nice sock pattern, although since I am the World’s Slowest Knitter, I declined to enter Sock Wars!

  3. Sharon Says:

    Oh yeah, let the games begin!!! I am bookmarking you in case of hurricane! ;0-)

  4. Marianne Says:

    I’m nose deep in holiday socks therefore not a warrior, but…SSK is not usually slip one, stitch one, pass slipped stitch over stitch…I’m glad you posted the pattern though, I was a bit curious about it.

  5. Marianne Says:

    oops, ok, you know what I mean, slip one, knit one, pass slipped stitch over knit stitch….Good Luck!!!

  6. Holly Says:

    So…You’re the one leaking info to the enemy. This is war, damn it! Stop wasting time and start knitting!

    Wait, we’re not on the same side….

    So, go on using your time for otherthings. Just remember to take a picture of the socks that kill you.

  7. Kelly Says:

    SSK – Slip 1, Slip 1, knit the 2 slipped stitches together….same as k2tog thru the back loop. SKP is Slip 1, Knit 1, psso. Hope this helps all those confused.

  8. The Season « Plath’s Adventures Says:

    […] and the International Sock of Doom pattern, so they worked up quickly. The pattern is now located here if you’re looking for […]

  9. Elly Says:

    Does one need to have a strong B in the social sciences to manage a weblog like this?