Well, the monkeys didn’t actually speak. They’re monkeys, after all. Monkeys can be very emotive, but they can’t actually talk.
They did, however, scurry about in the Cage of Choosing, sampling all the different plantain chips, until sure enough a scuffle broke out in one corner of the cage. One of the chips had the most sincere and witty caption written on it, and that was the one that was destined to go under the picture.
I waded into the midst of the ruckus and peeled away primates until I found Dimitri there at the bottom, clutching his prize to his chest. I put out my hand and he reached out, dropping the winner in my palm.
No, that wasn’t the winner. That was a beetle. Nice try, Dimitri. Gimme the damn plantain chip.
Okay, there we are. And the winner is . . .