Random thoughts on a chilly morning
It’s chilly in San Antonio this morning. I think it’s about 40° outside my front door right now. It’s the coldest morning we’ve had since last April, and I’m really happy it’s here. The coming of cold weather always reminds me of an issue that’s been near to my mind for a long, long time - I don’t think I want to live in San Antonio.
Frankly, it’s the climate. This is a hot city in a hot state and we don’t have much in the way of seasons. Maybe it’s just that I’m getting older, maybe it’s the amount of time I’ve invested in knitting, but I really, really want to live someplace with a real Autumn where leaves change brilliant colors and fall off the trees and a Spring with unexpected storms and bright new plants bursting up from the soil. We get a tiny bit of that here, but nothing compared to many parts of North America. As Juno has told me on more than occasion, “if you will live in Texas . . . ” . . . then deal with it.
I don’t think I want to live in Texas. The problem for me is that while I’ve got the desire to move away, I don’t really have a concrete desire to move to anywhere else. There are a ton of possibilities I’ve considered - San Francisco, Portland, Seattle, Toronto, New York, somewhere in Nebraska or Iowa, Chicago, but other than not being San Antonio, there’s nothing in particular drawing me to any of those places. I’ve got friends in a lot of them, and it would be great to see them, but to uproot my life, leave behind all the familiarity of the place where I grew up, and commit myself to starting a new life out there? Right now the idea scares me. I can’t put my finger on what exactly it is that scares me so much. Perhaps once I’ve chewed it over in my mind and can do that, the fear will dissipate, and I’ll be able to try living somewhere where the weather matches my wardrobe a little better. Fear doesn’t handle direct light well, now does it?
November 16th, 2007 at 9:24 am
Hmmm… that’s an interesting (and justifiably scary) itch you’ve got.
Having just recently uprooted and moved to a new city (relatively) far from all my family, most of my friends, and everything I was comfortable with - I have to say it *was* scary, and it *was* hard, but I’m so glad I did it.
That being said - it took about 4 years of bouncing the idea around in my head (with no particular city in mind) before I was ready to do anything about it. When I was ready, I was ready, and I knew it and really, there was no stopping me, and it happened fast. (Even though there seemed a lot to get through to make it happen - like jobs and selling condos and convincing my family that I wasn’t nuts.)
Good luck. It’s no small feat to be proactive about your life, and to consciously make a big shift in your path. It’s easier to follow the one you can see, and that’s already laid out for you.
November 16th, 2007 at 9:49 am
“Goin’ where the weather suits my clothes…” ;-). Just as I’m thinking I can’t WAIT to get back to some heat - it’s below freezing here right now! But I could see you somewhere like Seattle or Portland or Colorado - where they have bikes and hand-made stuff and good coffee. And then I could come visit ;-).
November 16th, 2007 at 10:43 am
Moving by yourself is scary. I knew several people here in Iowa City, and the move put me a whole lot closer to family and old friends (except for my sister) than San Antonio, but it was still scary and hard.
And don’t forget that winter does follow fall…..
November 16th, 2007 at 12:17 pm
I agree with Jackie. let your subconscious and conscious mind continue to mull this over. in my experience, this ‘back burner’ approach generally yields a good solution eventually. then all you have to do (ha, all!) is take the plunge. Can you guess which city I vote for? *wink*
November 16th, 2007 at 1:13 pm
I’ve moved quite a few times, sometimes with misgivings and sometimes with anticipation. Not every move has worked out well, but every one has been interesting in its own way. I’ve never lived in a warm climate and have never wanted to, so I don’t have your seasonal dilemma but I do know about living somewhere and itching to get out.
Jackie’s right, when the time comes to do the move, you’ll know and you’ll do it. You’ll still be scared but the stars will align or someone will tap you on the shoulder or who knows what will drive you to go. Or that won’t happen and you’ll just stop your brain from thinking about it one day, and you’ll get your body to move according to your heart’s desire.
Best of luck, whatever the outcome. Toronto would be good.
November 16th, 2007 at 1:35 pm
Any really big decision gets made - at least in my experience - gradually. So travel, visit, think it over.
And one hot day, say hell with it and throw a dart at a map.
And when your heart leaps or falls when you see the name it landed on, you’ll know what your decision should be.
November 16th, 2007 at 1:52 pm
In my 20s and early 30s I moved across Canada and back (Ottawa-Montreal-Vancouver-Victoria-Inuvik-Ottawa). The first leaps were easy - the last ones a little more challenging. During my adventures I learned that I don’t like the cold (but I’ll tolerate it since it permits the wearing of all things handknit) and that I love the change of seasons.
I’ve been back in Ottawa for almost 10 years now - it’s the longest I’ve been in one place since I was 18. In hindsight, I was searching for someplace that felt “right” - and somehow I ended up back where I started and, at this point in my life, it’s exactly where I’m meant to be. For now, of course.
Your new city will call out to you - you’ll know loud and clear where you’re meant to go - and you’ll have a blast once you’re there. Until then, let your fear hang out in its dark spaces while you wait for the siren’s song.
November 16th, 2007 at 3:38 pm
As someone who moved from Louisiana to Massachusetts all I have to say is embrace the change, seasons are FUN and I can tell you I sure don’t miss all the dang bugs! (But the BBQ and the boudin, now that’s another story entirely but that’s what visiting is for)
November 16th, 2007 at 7:20 pm
Okay - so almost ten years ago I gave up my nice, modern freeway-convenient apartment by the beach, my 10th floor office with a window decently paid corporate job with the fat bennies, and the neighborhoods I’d grown up around to relocate “26 miles across the sea” to an island where I live in a drafty, old summerhouse and make a living by stringing together different full or part time jobs with occasional freelance work. It was hard, occasionally uncomfortable, and downright scary. But I regret nothing and would do it all over again, although I am not generally known as the kind of person that does a flying cannonball into the deep end.
I did it because I went there on vacation and fell in love. With a place, and the people, and a lifestyle a little off the beaten track. And I kept going back, over and over, at all different times of year, until I knew this was right for me. Because if you find a place in the world that you love that much, that’s where you should live all the time - not just visit.
That said - travel more! Keep going until you find a place where you are so happy and content, that you keep going back, and don’t ever want to leave. Then you’ll know you’ve found your new home.
Good luck!
November 17th, 2007 at 1:26 pm
I think you need to visit Ireland.
Love you bro.
M
November 17th, 2007 at 3:50 pm
CHICAGO!!!!!!!
I’m just sayin’.
November 17th, 2007 at 9:01 pm
I’ve often thought about relocating too. To a part of the country where it’s a little easier to make ends meet. Where you can own a home on an average income and not always be on the edge of broke. It’s such a hard jump to make though. Sometimes I feel like it would be exciting and fun, a chance to start again and make a whole new life and really do what I want. Other times I feel like it would be exhausting and scary and too hard.
November 18th, 2007 at 12:45 am
Dear Sweater Guy,
You sound like me about 5 years ago. There I was, in the wilds of Nova Scotia, with this unshakeable feeling that I would be moving somewhere — where and when exactly was unknown, but I knew it was gonna happen, and it was scary and exciting to think about all at once. I thought England or Scotland, but as it happens I am now here in Oklahoma. Certainly not on my radar screen as far as possibilities in my head go, but destiny awaited. It has not been easy settling in here and hard finding friends who “get” me, but after three years here, it is finally starting to feel like home, and honestly and truly conquering the new and unknown and different has been exhilarating. I have grown so much and learned so much about myself that the sadness about leaving my life and family and career has been tempered over time.
So long story short, I say go for it. Venture into the unknown, and try it for a year. If it sucks, go back to Texas. If it does not, what manner of fun things await you?
November 18th, 2007 at 2:26 am
It’s funny that you posted this–last year, my parents moved *to* San Antonio so they could get away from these hideous Nebraska winters. When my mother suggested that my boyfriend and I might follow someday–no way. I’d miss these hideous Nebraska winters way too much.
I’ll put in a vote for “somewhere in Nebaska or Iowa” and let you know that Omaha is a pretty laid-back place with enough “stuff” to keep you busy if you’re willing to put a little effort into finding it. And if you came here, you would be the first kilt-wearing man I’ve seen hereabouts–perhaps you desire to be a trendsetter?
November 18th, 2007 at 10:48 am
Hey mister! How’s life in the big city?? I always like change. I think it’s exciting!! There is always something new and cool when you move around. You may like one place better than another - but you don’t have to be committed for life!! If you don’t like it, move again! And there is always a community of knitters waiting for you. Instant friends!! One of the considerations that was important to me when I moved from living in China for 7 years was to be in a city that would accept my multi-race family. I didn’t want my daughter to feel “stared at” or “different” if we moved to a city. I wanted to find a “blendy” place, and we did! Don’t cross a place off your list until you visit. There are some places you may fall in love with after visiting! Good luck to you!
November 18th, 2007 at 5:16 pm
Thirteen years ago, about a year after finishing college, my husband and I got the urge to live somewhere else. We moved from the Boston area to the San Francisco area, with the plan of staying for a couple of years and then moving back. We’re still here, and don’t plan on going anywhere.
Yes it took time to make new friends and get to know the area, but we are so happy to be here. Listen to the itch and you’ll know when the time is right!
November 19th, 2007 at 9:42 am
I have to admit to having less reservations about moving. But then I also am burdened with great wanderlust. I live an hours’ drive from where I work on purpose as it helps keep me in “one” place.
While I would be inclined to pull out a map of the US & Canada, have someone spin it around, point to a random spot with my finger, then go there - that’s not the norm for most people. So I will agree with what others have suggested - research & visits. Though I also add - pick a few cities you think you might like and start job hunting there. Even if it’s just online. If they have nothing in your field, then it would be a little silly to move there. And be sure to pay attention to city size/traffic. If you HATE traffic (like me) and the daily “commute” then moving to LA or DC or any other huge city would be a BAD idea.
If you’re used to having a grochery store around the corner or going to a live concert once a month, moving to rural North Dakota would probably be a rather bad idea.
Happy Hunting!
November 19th, 2007 at 11:20 pm
Just keep your eyes, heart, mind, etc open….
sometimes once you say things like this “out loud” the universe has a way of deciding for you
oh…and if you end up finding a pull to SF, I’ll show ya’ around town.
November 21st, 2007 at 9:06 pm
(Portland.)
November 21st, 2007 at 9:52 pm
seattle is nice…
November 23rd, 2007 at 7:36 pm
I live in New York (downstate), and I really despise cold weather, but I love snow and I love seeing the bright red leaves in the Fall. I really think the best thing about New York is the change in temperature- even with the cold weather. We get a range of about 100 degrees a year.
I used to be afraid of staying in the same place my entire life, but I’m nearing the end of three and a half months abroad, and I miss my home so much right now.