Hello, I’m Judah Macabee.
When we had a chance to rebuild the temple, we didn’t have a lot of options when it came to lamp oil. But we Macabees know that repelling the Romans and cleansing the Promised Land aren’t the only challenges facing the sons and daughters of Abraham. We also have to do something about global warming.
That’s why we used Divine Lamp Oil. DLO lasts eight times longer than conventional lamp oils, and the carbon footprint offset from using DLO is equivalent to killing twenty encamped Roman Legionnaires.
So during this Festival of Lights, go green, children of Israel. Go with DLO.
Good for the environment, good for you.
Disclaimer: this may have been funnier in my head.