I am depressed. Deeply, horribly, I-can’t-fucking-take-this-anymore depressed.
Time to learn something.
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on Monday, August 4th, 2008 at 6:35 pm and is filed under Personal.
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when I get like that, which fortunately isn’t too often, I look for something to change. It can be a small something or a big something, but whatever it is it needs to be necessary. Like the day I decided I needed to learn Spanish to improve my life (details unnecessary). Within four hours I had found a language school and bought a plane ticket to Guatemala. Even small changes can alter your entire life if they alter your inner landscape. This feeling will propel you to a better place in your life, so hang in there.
Are you saying you want to learn something specific – weaving overshot, identifying ferns, sky-diving – or are you saying that YOU need to learn something from all the poop you’ve just been through? Or if you’re seriously depressed and that happens often in your life, or friends have commented about it, then go see the doc about getting checked for depression. If you need something new to learn, anything’ll do. If you need to learn more about yourself, well, that’s the hard part. I’m not good at it myself. Try writing things down. Try looking at stuff you’ve done well, and deducing what sort of person you must be if you are the sort who can do X. Talk to people.
In the meantime, eat well, see friends, walk a lot, and take your vitamins.
What I meant by that last post was I need to learn something new.
I’ve learned over time that making myself get engaged in something and
learning is a very good way to get myself out of depression. When I
was younger and depression hit, it would put me into a state of
despair and I’d think that there was no way it would ever get better.
Now that I’m older and have a little more experience, I realize that’s
not true – it always does get better. I just need to shake the funk
I’m in right now. And the funk-shaking began last night right after I
wrote that post. I sat down with my laptop and a grilled cheese
sandwich and worked out how to dynamically change parts of a CSS style
bad I felt, and I woke up this morning feeling a little bit better.
Good! This was me checking back in to make sure I hadn’t blithely suggested you take a Tai Chi class when I should actually have made you get your a$$ to a doctor, stat! 😉 Glad to hear you’re doing ok, even if you never do reply to my emails. Miss you!